The days!

Days are the hardest for the new mature monster. Because of the memories. The torment has passed from dream to reality. Your nights are calmer and more restful but days somehow seem longer. Ever-questioning, always with the lack of belonging now a lot more clearer, touchable even.

All that knowledge brings now are new points of view of what happened, making any attempt for something new futile. And then, seeing in new ways all that you have done, despair sets in. Creeping through whatever holes you've left open from your conscience. Whispering names and places and deeds, and shouting out the complete lack of result that you have brought to the world until now. No meaning, just pain. And hate. And new monsters.

You have yet to block it completely, but not by lack of remorse, that would be useless, but through acceptance. Closing your eyes will not work. Closing your door will not work. Closing your feel will not work. You need to touch every new thing coming your way in order to make the past be even more in the past. You need to acknowledge your destiny as a soul-taker and find new ways to do it. But careful, maturity may also bring no return.

Look!


art by VHM-Alex